View previous topic :: View next topic |
Author |
Message |
heylinder Rated XXX
Joined: 04 Aug 2003 Posts: 1938 Location: Georgia
|
Posted: Fri, 17 Feb 2006 00:11:30 Post Subject: No sex since 1955 |
|
|
A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event
hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of
extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom
approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.
"Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man.
Is something bothering you?"
"Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature."
"The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said,
"It looks like you have seen a lot of action."
"Yes, ma'am, a lot of action."
The young lady, now tiring of trying to start up a conversation,
said, "You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself."
The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.
Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the
wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?"
"1955, ma'am."
"Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking
everything so seriously! I mean, no sex since 1955!"
She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded
to "relax" him several times. Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned
against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955!"
The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice,
"I hope not, it's only 2130 now." |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Little Bruin
Boo Boo
Joined: 07 Apr 2003
Posts: 667
Location: Pic-A-Nic Basket |
|
|
knight0334 Rated XXX
Joined: 22 Aug 2003 Posts: 2234 Location: Neither Here, Nor There
|
|
Back to top |
|
|
HackaX0rus Rated XXX
Joined: 20 Jan 2005 Posts: 1972 Location: Cen. CA
|
|
Back to top |
|
|
heylinder Rated XXX
Joined: 04 Aug 2003 Posts: 1938 Location: Georgia
|
|
Back to top |
|
|
heylinder Rated XXX
Joined: 04 Aug 2003 Posts: 1938 Location: Georgia
|
Posted: Thu, 23 Feb 2006 19:02:49 Post Subject: Another New Joke |
|
|
Medicare
The phone rings and the lady of the house
Answers, "Hello."
"Mrs. Ward, please."
"Speaking."
"Mrs. Ward, this is Doctor Jones at the Medical
Testing Laboratory. When your doctor sent your husband's
biopsy to the lab yesterday, a biopsy from
another Mr. Ward arrived as well, and we are now uncertain which
one is your husband's. Frankly the results are
either bad or terrible."
"What do you mean?" Mrs. Ward asks nervously.
"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for
Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for AIDS.
We can't tell which is your husband's."
"That's dreadful! Can't you do the test again?"
questioned Mrs. Ward.
"Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for
these expensive tests one time."
"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"
"The people at Medicare recommend that you drop
your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds
his way home, don't sleep with him." |
|
Back to top |
|
|
evilburl Canadian eh
Joined: 20 Nov 2003 Posts: 346 Location: I have no idea
|
|
Back to top |
|
|
heylinder Rated XXX
Joined: 04 Aug 2003 Posts: 1938 Location: Georgia
|
Posted: Thu, 23 Feb 2006 22:15:53 Post Subject: |
|
|
evilburl wrote: | This is a great thread heylinder. I'm still chuckling at them |
It's my own little joke sub-forum I'm thinking about hacking the site and making it permanent
J/K BB ... I'm a chopper not a hacker |
|
Back to top |
|
|
Little Bruin
Boo Boo
Joined: 07 Apr 2003
Posts: 667
Location: Pic-A-Nic Basket |
|
|
HackaX0rus Rated XXX
Joined: 20 Jan 2005 Posts: 1972 Location: Cen. CA
|
|
Back to top |
|
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum You cannot attach files in this forum You can download files in this forum
|
|