hummm. Let me check that out. That isn't right at all.
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Trudyntexas

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Yair. I am not sure what happened. I use a program by Real called Crazy Talk and it is compiled of their tjm and tps files along with the wav for voiceover. It then compiles it into and .exe file. Who lnows what happened. I guess you could try again as it si supposed to just pop up the window to "open" tp view.

Sorry about that.
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Trudyntexas

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Here is a joke.....


Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"

His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes in the closet, jump into bed, slap her on the a$$ and say, 'WHO'S HORNY?!!!'

"And she acts like she's sound asleep."

This guy has talent:






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Here are some jokes...is there a length issue if it is long? I thought the bigbruin users would appreciate some technology jokes

Quote:

Bill Gates suddenly dies and finds himself face to face with God. God stood over Bill Gates and said, "Well Bill, I'm really confused on this one. It's a tough decision; I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows '95 among other indiscretions. I believe I'll do something I've never done before; I'll let you decide where you want to go." Bill pushed up his glasses, looked up at God and replied, "Could you briefly explain the difference between the two?" Looking slightly puzzled, God said, "Better yet, why don't I let you visit both places briefly, then you can make your decision. Which do you choose to see first, Heaven or Hell?" Bill played with his pocket protector for a moment, then looked back at God and said, "I think I'll try Hell first." So, with a flash of lightning and a cloud of smoke, Bill Gates went to Hell. When he materialized in Hell, Bill looked around. It was a beautiful and clean place, a bit warm, with sandy beaches and tall mountains, clear skies, pristine water, and beautiful women frolicking about. A smile came across Bill's face as he took in a deep breath of the clean air. "This is great," he thought, "if this is Hell, I can't wait to see heaven." Within seconds of his thought, another flash of lightning and a cloud of smoke appeared, and Bill was off to Heaven. Heaven was a place high above the clouds, where angels were drifting about playing their harps and singing in a beautiful chorus. It was a very nice place, Bill thought, but not as enticing as Hell. Bill looked up, cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled for God and Bill Gates was sent to Hell for eternity. Time passed, and God decided to check on the late billionaire to see how he was progressing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill Gates shackled to a wall in a dark cave amid bone thin men and tongues of fire, being burned and tortured by demons. "So, how is everything going?" God asked. Bill responded with a crackling voice filled with anguish and disappointment, "This is awful! It's nothing like the Hell I visited the first time!! I can't believe this is happening! What happened to the other place....with the beaches and the mountains and the beautiful women? "That was the demo," replied God.

Quote:

Have you ever had a hard time pushing your way through one of those phone voice mail systems? If you've had to use more that two or three of them in one day, you probably need help from the Psychiatric Hot Line. Hello, Welcome to the Psychiatric Hot Line --If you are obsessive compulsive, please press 1...repeatedly. --If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2. --If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6. --If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, just stay on the line so we can trace the call. --If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press. --If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.

Quote:

Church Signs 1 1) Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside! 2) Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins. 3) Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here! 4) An ad for a Church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads, "For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets. 5) When the restaurant next to the Church put out a big sign that said, "Open Sundays," the church reciprocated with its own message: "We are open on Sundays, too." 6) Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons -- come hear one! 7) Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas rush! Sign broken. Message inside this Sunday. 9) Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world. 10) If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns.

Quote:

Not so long ago.... An application was for employment A program was a TV show A cursor used profanity A keyboard was a piano! Memory was something that you lost with age. A CD was a bank account Compress was something you did to garbage not to a file. And if you unzipped anything in public you'd be in jail for awhile! Log on was adding wood to a fire. Hard drive was a long trip on the road. A mouse pad was where a mouse lived. And a backup happened to your commode! Cut - you did with a pocket knife. Paste you did with glue. A web was a spider's home. And a virus was the flu! I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper. And the memory in my head. I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash but when it happens they wish they were dead!

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OK... I'm feeling generous as the deadline approaches and have upped the ante to include a second prize! Winner gets there choice of either the motherboard and cooler, or if for some reason they'd rather the following, they can... Then, second place gets whatever prize is left!!

A 64MB Crucial Gizmo! USB flash drive and 2 port USB 2.0 ioGear PCI card. Yeah, yeah, the Gizmo! is only USB 1.1, but it made for a good combo to give away!!

second.jpg
Description:
Filesize:	36.76 KB
Viewed:	6183 Time(s)

HUmmm. Ok. Time for the bIG Guns!!


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Trudyntexas

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Things to screw with your mind:


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all your base are belong to us

Here's a parody of the song "Still D.R.E" I wrote a while back while I was in the CS groove. This is entitled "Still L.A.G.". I was on 56k back then.



(RAH was the clan I was in):

[Intro]
Yeah, n00b, I'm still fraggin' ya
Still I'm laggin' for free
Still Strat, 'n the MC, 2K1 Player, (Guess who's back)
Still campin' in DUST, MC?


(Oh fa sho, lag me out)
Still 56k, AFK,
Though I flush packets a lot, I get bad connections a lot
Cuz when I dial-up; and I hear the ring on the spot
I know my ping's gonna be rocking at the top
Newbies, they pay homage but l33Ts said the Hawk fell off
How? My last kill was a headshot!
They wanna know if I have an AimBOT
They say my cheats've changed, and I'm gonna hafta get caught

-If you're goin frame by frame,

RAH server be the name, still runnin the game

Still frag newbies, still AWPz
Still campin on them damn CTs
Still stoppin the hosties from bein released
Still keepin the RCP, Killin the l33Ts
Still the lag thing, still watchin my ping
Since I logged on, still aint too much changed

Still

Chorus

I'm representin ma 56ks across the world
(Still) With that 500 ping, girl
(Still) Goin slow, cuz of ma lag
I just need a couple mo frags, it's the L-A-G

Repeat

Since the last time you heard from me I grabbed some frags
Tags, lags, me 'n Strat we gotta brag
My ear to the grounds, heard someone gag
He's bullet riddled, lookin like a freak
STILL, I stay close to Viper Heat,
Cuz When I'm near defeat,
He smokes down the peeps,
My gun's an AK, put y'all to sleep
When silence is required, around I creep
Wake up in the AM, be a CT
I lag so bad I don't know where I be
It's not a fluke, in vertigo, it's the truth
It's like I can't even move, but then fall from a roof
But I Still frag it, after lag-o-matic
With some SMGs; and semi-matics
Flash bangs, dual colts, and radars track it
I hit you then I splatter too, L-A-G

Chorus X 2

I'd be walking, and then I'll freeze
Warning Connection will appear; on my screen
Whether you're cooling on a corner with your UMP
Or laid back in the shack, camping with the MAC
I'm representing for the 56ks across the world
(Still) getting a 500 plus ping, girl
I'll get a headshot, lettin my body rot
CTs, try to win, but I got the Heat-BOT.

-If you're goin frame by frame,

RAH server be the name, still runnin the game

Still got it spammed like a lamer
Still got my name set as; the default "Player"
Friendly fire on in dust
Set the bomb off in dust
Tell the Newbs storm the front
Let them take the brunt
Knife fights everyday
Jump into the fray
Still gonna get blown away

Chorus X 3

[Ending]

Right back at ya AWP style
2K 'n a penny, baby
Sum that crap up, the MC, pings right on top of thing
Frag some with your Vipe
No frags, no tags, no hacks, no MACs
Some of dat real laggy aggy aggy
Ooh wee, headshots aren't fo free
Oh; You a n00b MC

Now this is pretty cool:

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