Dirty Jokes

MasterSweets14 · Posted: Wed, 11 May 2005 18:47:14 Post Subject: Dirty Jokes

A mailman has been working on the same street for 35 years and his finally ready to retire. At the first house the family gave him a box of Cuban cigars for all his work over the years. The family at the next house gave him a bag of homemade cookies. At the third house a drop dead gorgeous red head opens the door in her skimpy little nighty. She drags him upstairs and gives him the best sex of his life. Afterwards she goes down stairs and starts making a huge breakfast for him. The man starts drinking his coffee and notices a five dollar bill under the mug. Curious about why she was doing all this he asks her. The woman answers, "When I asked my husband what I should give you for your last day on the job he said, 'f#*@ him, give him five bucks'. The breakfast was my idea.

Got a funny a$$ dirty joke? Post it so we can all enjoy it!

J-Dog3000 · Posted: Wed, 11 May 2005 20:03:58 Post Subject:

i got one! ok let's make some enemies. it's kinda long.

Beer Lotus, Big Bruin and HackaX0rus are walking in a swamp and they come up to a fork in the road. Out of no where this swamp monster pops up and says "I'll tell you which way to go if your 3 Censored

lengths equal 30 inches, if not i'll kill you!" Big Bruin being the confident man he is, step forward and pulls out his Censored

. The monster measures it and says "20 inches! Very nice!" HackaX0rus isn't afraid either so he steps forward and pulls his out. The monster measures it and says "9 inches! Nice!" Beer Lotus has finally worked up the courage to show his. He step forward and shows his. The monster measures it and says "1 inch! Dammit! You made it through, take the left turn." So while walking down the road Big Bruin speaks up and says. "Well we all would have been dead today if it wasn't for my 20 incher." HackaX0rus says "We all would have been pushing up daisies if i didn't pack 9 inches." and then Beer Lotus said "We all would've been sleeping with the fishes if i didn't pop a boner."

BeerCheeze · Posted: Wed, 11 May 2005 20:05:28 Post Subject:

Keep the dirty jokes.... clean Grin

MasterSweets14 · Posted: Wed, 11 May 2005 20:18:23 Post Subject:

justin that joke is always a classic, and how exactly r we supposd to keep dirty jokes clean???

**Doctor Feelgood** · Posted: Wed, 11 May 2005 20:23:50 Post Subject:

If you can't keep them clean, keep them off the board! Grin

HackaX0rus · Posted: Wed, 11 May 2005 20:24:07 Post Subject:

keep them clean as in...if need be edit them to be suitable for all ages to read we dont want BB to become a genmay...so keep it clean or the mods kill it Grin

...i learned this by trial and error.

J-Dog3000 · Posted: Wed, 11 May 2005 20:25:41 Post Subject:

Gotcha! Edit time.

MasterSweets14 · Posted: Wed, 11 May 2005 20:28:10 Post Subject:

DAMN IT!! the whole point of this thread was to be dirty and crude!

BeerLotus · Posted: Wed, 11 May 2005 23:12:32 Post Subject:

One night, a married guy, sick of normal daily sex, decided to give his wife an anal sex. he thought it was something new and exciting. so the guy took a shower, went into his room, and went into the bed. he found the body lying on the bed. He began to give her the passionate anal sex. while he was giving the anal sex, the body moaned and purred as the guy's hand touched the body. after 1 hour of amazing anal sex, he went out of the room to piss. and he found his WIFE in the washroom. guy said : "what the hell are you doing here? how the hell? i thought you were in my room?" and the wife said, pointing to the bed : "shhh... quiet... you are going to wake up J-Dog3000."

J-Dog3000 works a new job on Thursday and Friday. On Monday he calls in and says, "I can't come in today. I'm sick."

J-Dog3000 works the rest of the week, but the following Monday he calls in and says, "I can't come in today. I'm sick."

The boss asks the foreman about him, and the foreman says, "He's great. He does the work of two men. We need him."

So the boss calls J-Dog3000 into his office, and says, "You seem to have a problem getting to work on Mondays. You're a good worker and I'd hate to fire you. What's the problem? Anything we can help you with? Drugs? Alcohol?"

J-Dog3000, "No, I don't drink or do drugs. But my brother-in-law drinks every weekend, and then beats on my sister. So every Monday morning, I go over to make sure she's all right. She puts her head on my shoulder and cries, one thing leads to another, and the next thing you know, I'm f#*@ing her."

The boss says, "You f#*@ your sister?"

J-Dog3000, "Hey, I told you I was sick."

An English taxidermist is sweating his way through the Australian outback when he comes across a bar. He staggers in between the beer swilling locals and in his well educated voice asks the bartender, "May I have a gin and tonic, please, my good man."

J-Dog3000 says to his mates, "Geez, cobbers, what kind of a f#*@ing man's drink is that?"

Then, turning to the Englishman, "Hey! You! Yes you, you f#*@ing Pom! Gin and f#*@ing tonic -- are you some f#*@ing kind of a poofter or something?"

"Ac...actually," the englishman, terrified, replies, "I'm a taxidermist."

"Oh yeah? And what's a taxidermist then?"

"I mount d..d..dead animals."

"It's alright, cobbers," says the local, turning to his mates, "He's one of us!"

I strike thee back J-Dog3000 with a 5 minute google search

actually that was a bit much, sorry bout that

HackaX0rus · Posted: Thu, 12 May 2005 01:12:32 Post Subject:

...wow...kids close your eyes and hit the back button Laughing

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