View Single Post - Dirty Jokes

BeerLotus · Rated XXX

One night, a married guy, sick of normal daily sex, decided to give his wife an anal sex. he thought it was something new and exciting. so the guy took a shower, went into his room, and went into the bed. he found the body lying on the bed. He began to give her the passionate anal sex. while he was giving the anal sex, the body moaned and purred as the guy's hand touched the body. after 1 hour of amazing anal sex, he went out of the room to piss. and he found his WIFE in the washroom. guy said : "what the hell are you doing here? how the hell? i thought you were in my room?" and the wife said, pointing to the bed : "shhh... quiet... you are going to wake up J-Dog3000."

J-Dog3000 works a new job on Thursday and Friday. On Monday he calls in and says, "I can't come in today. I'm sick."

J-Dog3000 works the rest of the week, but the following Monday he calls in and says, "I can't come in today. I'm sick."

The boss asks the foreman about him, and the foreman says, "He's great. He does the work of two men. We need him."

So the boss calls J-Dog3000 into his office, and says, "You seem to have a problem getting to work on Mondays. You're a good worker and I'd hate to fire you. What's the problem? Anything we can help you with? Drugs? Alcohol?"

J-Dog3000, "No, I don't drink or do drugs. But my brother-in-law drinks every weekend, and then beats on my sister. So every Monday morning, I go over to make sure she's all right. She puts her head on my shoulder and cries, one thing leads to another, and the next thing you know, I'm f#*@ing her."

The boss says, "You f#*@ your sister?"

J-Dog3000, "Hey, I told you I was sick."

An English taxidermist is sweating his way through the Australian outback when he comes across a bar. He staggers in between the beer swilling locals and in his well educated voice asks the bartender, "May I have a gin and tonic, please, my good man."

J-Dog3000 says to his mates, "Geez, cobbers, what kind of a f#*@ing man's drink is that?"

Then, turning to the Englishman, "Hey! You! Yes you, you f#*@ing Pom! Gin and f#*@ing tonic -- are you some f#*@ing kind of a poofter or something?"

"Ac...actually," the englishman, terrified, replies, "I'm a taxidermist."

"Oh yeah? And what's a taxidermist then?"

"I mount d..d..dead animals."

"It's alright, cobbers," says the local, turning to his mates, "He's one of us!"

I strike thee back J-Dog3000 with a 5 minute google search

actually that was a bit much, sorry bout that
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