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WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN
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trekrider
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Joined: 08 Jun 2003
Posts: 2176
Location: Twin cities,MN

PostPosted: Wed, 19 May 2004 08:14:00    Post Subject: WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN Reply with quote View Single Post

WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are
our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...here is something
to make you chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can
take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"





"Don't what?" Adam replied.





"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.









"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we have forbidden
fruit!!!!!"







"No Way!"






"Yes way!"




"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.







"Why"






"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He
hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later,
God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked! "Didn't I
tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.







"Uh huh," Adam replied.







"Then why did you?" said the Father.






"I don't know," said Eve.








"She started it!" Adam said







"Did not!"






"Did too!"





"DID NOT!"






Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and
Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it
has never changed.








BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY! If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?








THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!
1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and
talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut
up.







2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.









3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.







4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for
word what you shouldn't have said.







5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself
that there are children more awful than your own.







6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.






ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing
home one day.






AND FINALLY:






IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON
THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:




"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!

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But, three lefts do!!
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Little Bruin
Boo Boo

Joined: 07 Apr 2003
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NewAwakenings
Your Worst Nightmare


Joined: 08 Jun 2003
Posts: 1516
Location: In your nightmares

PostPosted: Wed, 19 May 2004 08:52:41    Post Subject: Reply with quote View Single Post

Laughing Laughing


Ohhh How True!!!!! Grin Wink

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OOO Pleeease... Like you were the first person in this place to have him... we've passed him around like a Joint at a frat party! - Dr. EvilCheeze
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BeerCheeze
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Joined: 14 Jun 2003
Posts: 9285
Location: At the Bar

PostPosted: Wed, 19 May 2004 11:18:07    Post Subject: Reply with quote View Single Post

HAHAHAHAHAHA!! That is sooo... SOOOO True!!!
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michael_holmes
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Joined: 06 May 2004
Posts: 155
Location: Bangor, MI

PostPosted: Wed, 19 May 2004 12:42:46    Post Subject: Reply with quote View Single Post

Remeber your children will one day choose to or not to care for you.
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Dud3!
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Joined: 21 Aug 2003
Posts: 1469
Location: Florida

PostPosted: Wed, 19 May 2004 14:09:05    Post Subject: Reply with quote View Single Post

That's great, I'm keeping that one! Laughing
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Due to a not-that-interesting turn of events, I am now known as Justin Danger.
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BeerCheeze
*hick*


Joined: 14 Jun 2003
Posts: 9285
Location: At the Bar

PostPosted: Wed, 19 May 2004 14:27:44    Post Subject: Reply with quote View Single Post

michael_holmes wrote:
Remeber your children will one day choose to or not to care for you.


Pffft... My kids will be fighting over who get's to pull the plug!!
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misty
Mmmmm... Beer


Joined: 17 Jul 2003
Posts: 737
Location: In Dr. EvilCheeze's pants

PostPosted: Wed, 19 May 2004 15:17:25    Post Subject: Reply with quote View Single Post

They will not Cheeze... they are fully aware that mom has rights to that. Wave
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Little Bruin
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dadx2mj
Happy Camper


Joined: 10 Aug 2003
Posts: 2994
Location: SoCal

PostPosted: Wed, 19 May 2004 16:05:21    Post Subject: Reply with quote View Single Post

misty wrote:
They will not Cheeze... they are fully aware that mom has rights to that. Wave


Damn Misty is that thin air in Colo making you a little ornery? Grin Wave
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trekrider
Feeling: Prehistoric


Joined: 08 Jun 2003
Posts: 2176
Location: Twin cities,MN

PostPosted: Wed, 19 May 2004 16:08:25    Post Subject: Reply with quote View Single Post

Dr. EvilCheeze wrote:

Pffft... My kids will be fighting over who get's to pull the plug!!



At least you get to teach them to pull your finger! Bad Air

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michael_holmes
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Location: Bangor, MI

PostPosted: Fri, 21 May 2004 11:49:49    Post Subject: Reply with quote View Single Post

I think they will share the joy I mean responsibility.
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