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trekrider Feeling: Prehistoric
Joined: 08 Jun 2003 Posts: 2176 Location: Twin cities,MN
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Posted: Wed, 19 May 2004 08:14:00 Post Subject: WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN |
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WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)
To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are
our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...here is something
to make you chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can
take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"
"Don't what?" Adam replied.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we have forbidden
fruit!!!!!"
"No Way!"
"Yes way!"
"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.
"Why"
"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He
hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later,
God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked! "Didn't I
tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.
"Uh huh," Adam replied.
"Then why did you?" said the Father.
"I don't know," said Eve.
"She started it!" Adam said
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"DID NOT!"
Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and
Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it
has never changed.
BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY! If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!
1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and
talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut
up.
2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for
word what you shouldn't have said.
5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself
that there are children more awful than your own.
6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.
ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing
home one day.
AND FINALLY:
IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON
THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:
"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!! _________________ Two wrongs don't make a right!
But, three lefts do!! |
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Little Bruin
Boo Boo
Joined: 07 Apr 2003
Posts: 667
Location: Pic-A-Nic Basket |
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NewAwakenings Your Worst Nightmare
Joined: 08 Jun 2003 Posts: 1516 Location: In your nightmares
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Posted: Wed, 19 May 2004 08:52:41 Post Subject: |
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Ohhh How True!!!!! _________________ I am the Spam Queen...
OOO Pleeease... Like you were the first person in this place to have him... we've passed him around like a Joint at a frat party! - Dr. EvilCheeze |
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BeerCheeze *hick*
Joined: 14 Jun 2003 Posts: 9285 Location: At the Bar
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michael_holmes Rated NC-17
Joined: 06 May 2004 Posts: 155 Location: Bangor, MI
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Dud3! Forum abandoner
Joined: 21 Aug 2003 Posts: 1469 Location: Florida
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Posted: Wed, 19 May 2004 14:09:05 Post Subject: |
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That's great, I'm keeping that one! _________________ Due to a not-that-interesting turn of events, I am now known as Justin Danger. |
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BeerCheeze *hick*
Joined: 14 Jun 2003 Posts: 9285 Location: At the Bar
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Posted: Wed, 19 May 2004 14:27:44 Post Subject: |
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michael_holmes wrote: | Remeber your children will one day choose to or not to care for you. |
Pffft... My kids will be fighting over who get's to pull the plug!! |
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misty Mmmmm... Beer
Joined: 17 Jul 2003 Posts: 737 Location: In Dr. EvilCheeze's pants
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Posted: Wed, 19 May 2004 15:17:25 Post Subject: |
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They will not Cheeze... they are fully aware that mom has rights to that. |
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Little Bruin
Boo Boo
Joined: 07 Apr 2003
Posts: 667
Location: Pic-A-Nic Basket |
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dadx2mj Happy Camper
Joined: 10 Aug 2003 Posts: 2994 Location: SoCal
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Posted: Wed, 19 May 2004 16:05:21 Post Subject: |
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misty wrote: | They will not Cheeze... they are fully aware that mom has rights to that. |
Damn Misty is that thin air in Colo making you a little ornery? |
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trekrider Feeling: Prehistoric
Joined: 08 Jun 2003 Posts: 2176 Location: Twin cities,MN
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Posted: Wed, 19 May 2004 16:08:25 Post Subject: |
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Dr. EvilCheeze wrote: |
Pffft... My kids will be fighting over who get's to pull the plug!! |
At least you get to teach them to pull your finger! _________________ Two wrongs don't make a right!
But, three lefts do!! |
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michael_holmes Rated NC-17
Joined: 06 May 2004 Posts: 155 Location: Bangor, MI
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