Seen in my AARP notice

trekrider · Posted: Fri, 07 May 2004 15:17:07 Post Subject: Seen in my AARP notice

Chapter 1:

GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER

1. Sag, You're it.

2. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy.

3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.

4. Kick the bucket.

5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.

6. Doc Who.

7. Simon says something incoherent.

8. Hide and forget why you're there.

9. Spin the Bottle of Mylanta.

10. Musical recliners.

Chapter 2: SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE

1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.

2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.

3. The Phenobarbital dose that wiped out the Heaven's Gate Cult gives you four hours of decent rest.

4. You change your underwear after every sneeze.

5. You're on so much estrogen that you take your Brownie troop on a field trip to the Mall.

Chapter 3: SIGNS OF WEAR

"OLD" IS WHEN..... Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes & you're barefoot.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... A sexy babe catches your fancy & your pacemaker opens the garage door.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

"OLD" IS WHEN.... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

"OLD" IS WHEN... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting a little action" means there's no need to take any fiber today.

"OLD" IS WHEN.... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... An "all-nighter" means not getting up to go to the bathroom

heylinder · Posted: Fri, 07 May 2004 17:37:40 Post Subject:

STOP!!!!! No more old jokes from you ... you're not old enough yet Wink

Althou that was pretty funny Grin

NewAwakenings · Posted: Fri, 07 May 2004 19:05:39 Post Subject:

hmmm sag your it.. reminds me of someone....

trekrider · Posted: Fri, 07 May 2004 19:11:09 Post Subject:

Ooooo. c'mon, your too young!

Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face

NewAwakenings · Posted: Fri, 07 May 2004 20:18:26 Post Subject:

Dud3! · Posted: Fri, 07 May 2004 21:08:07 Post Subject:

Those are pretty good, I'll have to keep them to use on grandparents/parents.

michael_holmes · Posted: Sat, 08 May 2004 10:56:18 Post Subject:

My dad sees those and he'll drop into depression.