trekrider
Rated XXX
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 Posted: Fri, 07 May 2004 15:17:07 Post Subject: Seen in my AARP notice |
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Chapter 1:
GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER
1. Sag, You're it.
2. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy.
3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
4. Kick the bucket.
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
6. Doc Who.
7. Simon says something incoherent.
8. Hide and forget why you're there.
9. Spin the Bottle of Mylanta.
10. Musical recliners.
Chapter 2: SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE
1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.
2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.
3. The Phenobarbital dose that wiped out the Heaven's Gate Cult gives you four hours of decent rest.
4. You change your underwear after every sneeze.
5. You're on so much estrogen that you take your Brownie troop on a field trip to the Mall.
Chapter 3: SIGNS OF WEAR
"OLD" IS WHEN..... Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes & you're barefoot.
"OLD" IS WHEN..... A sexy babe catches your fancy & your pacemaker opens the garage door.
"OLD" IS WHEN..... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
"OLD" IS WHEN.... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
"OLD" IS WHEN... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.
"OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting a little action" means there's no need to take any fiber today.
"OLD" IS WHEN.... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.
"OLD" IS WHEN..... An "all-nighter" means not getting up to go to the bathroom
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Two wrongs don't make a right!
But, three lefts do!! |
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