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mrweasel
I can haz cheezbrgr?
Joined: 13 Jun 2005
Posts: 1444
Location: Pasadena, MD
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 Posted: Fri, 25 Apr 2008 10:59:29 Post Subject: New Element Discovered |
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Recent climatic issues and fuel price spikes are proof that it exists. A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Governmentium".
Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming iso-dopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass."
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium - an element which radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons, but twice as many morons.
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Little Bruin
Boo Boo
Joined: 07 Apr 2003
Posts: 667
Location: Pic-A-Nic Basket |
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BeerCheeze
*hick*
Joined: 14 Jun 2003
Posts: 9285
Location: At the Bar
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Doctor Feelgood
Arrrrghh!
Joined: 07 Apr 2003
Posts: 20349
Location: New Jersey
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| Posted: Fri, 25 Apr 2008 18:04:03 Post Subject: |
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 - good stuff! |
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Charlie
DeathStar
Joined: 24 Sep 2003
Posts: 10801
Location: Orlando, FL
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| Posted: Fri, 25 Apr 2008 21:04:59 Post Subject: |
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Geez, I can't stop laughing......
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Challenger
Rated R
Joined: 10 Mar 2006
Posts: 64
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| Posted: Sat, 26 Apr 2008 09:53:59 Post Subject: |
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Hi, my name is Challenger, and yes I am a moron!  |
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TomatoSlayer
Rated PG-13
Joined: 11 Feb 2008
Posts: 44
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