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knight0334
Rated XXX


Joined: 22 Aug 2003
Posts: 2234
Location: Neither Here, Nor There

PostPosted: Wed, 02 Apr 2008 20:26:56    Post Subject: Post your jokes Reply with quote View Single Post

How do you know you're too drunk to drive?


When you swerve to miss a tree and you realize its the air freshener hanging on to the rear view mirror.
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Little Bruin
Boo Boo

Joined: 07 Apr 2003
Posts: 667
Location: Pic-A-Nic Basket
Doctor Feelgood
Arrrrghh!


Joined: 07 Apr 2003
Posts: 20349
Location: New Jersey

PostPosted: Wed, 02 Apr 2008 21:09:23    Post Subject: Reply with quote View Single Post

Laughing

Does this count?

Dental Records Match!



They checked the other end and they matched too!
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knight0334
Rated XXX


Joined: 22 Aug 2003
Posts: 2234
Location: Neither Here, Nor There

PostPosted: Thu, 03 Apr 2008 06:34:07    Post Subject: Reply with quote View Single Post

wrong end of the horse...
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Doctor Feelgood
Arrrrghh!


Joined: 07 Apr 2003
Posts: 20349
Location: New Jersey

PostPosted: Thu, 03 Apr 2008 07:48:19    Post Subject: Reply with quote View Single Post

Quote:
They checked the other end and they matched too!


They got that covered, too.

------------------------ Next:

An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and relieves himself on the woman's head.

"Yech!" says the woman. "Get some toilet paper."

"What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now."
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Kilamon
Rated XXX


Joined: 22 Mar 2005
Posts: 811

PostPosted: Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:27:49    Post Subject: Reply with quote View Single Post

One of my long time favorites:

A cannibal passed his brother in the forest.
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Challenger
Rated R


Joined: 10 Mar 2006
Posts: 64

PostPosted: Tue, 08 Apr 2008 19:34:15    Post Subject: Reply with quote View Single Post

Kilamon wrote:
One of my long time favorites:

A cannibal passed his brother in the forest.


I have been waiting on a punch line. Is there one, or is this about pooping? Confused
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BeerCheeze
*hick*


Joined: 14 Jun 2003
Posts: 9285
Location: At the Bar

PostPosted: Tue, 08 Apr 2008 19:52:17    Post Subject: Reply with quote View Single Post

pindy wrote:
Kilamon wrote:
One of my long time favorites:

A cannibal passed his brother in the forest.


I have been waiting on a punch line. Is there one, or is this about pooping? Confused


It's about POOOOOP
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Little Bruin
Boo Boo

Joined: 07 Apr 2003
Posts: 667
Location: Pic-A-Nic Basket
Challenger
Rated R


Joined: 10 Mar 2006
Posts: 64

PostPosted: Tue, 08 Apr 2008 20:16:43    Post Subject: Reply with quote View Single Post

Ah ha... I see.

Quote:
Incontinence Hotline...Can you hold, please?


Laughing
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slugbug
Rated XXX


Joined: 30 Oct 2006
Posts: 772
Location: Canada

PostPosted: Tue, 08 Apr 2008 20:17:16    Post Subject: Reply with quote View Single Post

A recent study found the average Canadian walks about 900 miles a
year.

Another study found Canadians drink, on average, 22 gallons of beer a year.

That means, on average, Canadians get about 41 miles to the gallon.

Kind'a makes ya proud to be Canadian! ...eh ?
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slugbug
Rated XXX


Joined: 30 Oct 2006
Posts: 772
Location: Canada

PostPosted: Tue, 08 Apr 2008 20:18:57    Post Subject: Reply with quote View Single Post

Best 'Out of Office' Automatic Email Replies:

1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

3. Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

4. I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

6. The email server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see who did this over and over and over...)

7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

8. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

9. I've run away to join a different circus.

10. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Lucille' instead of Steve.
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