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J-Dog3000
Rated NC-17


Joined: 02 May 2005
Posts: 111
Location: 3 Seconds in the future

PostPosted: Thu, 12 May 2005 09:01:15    Post Subject: Reply with quote View Single Post

Laughing holy Censored those were good Laughing
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If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy, and people will try to catch you, because hey, free dummy.
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Little Bruin
Boo Boo

Joined: 07 Apr 2003
Posts: 667
Location: Pic-A-Nic Basket
MasterSweets14
Rated NC-17


Joined: 02 May 2005
Posts: 147
Location: in a very, very small box

PostPosted: Thu, 12 May 2005 09:13:18    Post Subject: Reply with quote View Single Post

Laughing Those jokes are classic, and hilarious
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You're just jealous cuz the voices talk to me!
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MasterSweets14
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Joined: 02 May 2005
Posts: 147
Location: in a very, very small box

PostPosted: Thu, 12 May 2005 20:11:59    Post Subject: Reply with quote View Single Post

Two couples were playing cards. Jeff accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Dave's wife, Sandy, was not wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, Jeff hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced. Later when Jeff went to the kitchen to get some refreshments Sandy followed him and asked, "Did you see anything under the table that you liked?"

Jeff admitted, "Well, yes I did."

She said "you can have it, but it will cost you $100."

After a minute or two, Jeff indicates that he is interested. She tells him that since Dave works Friday afternoons and Jeff doesn't, that Jeff should come to their house around 2:00 PM on Friday. Friday came and Jeff went to her house at 2:00 PM. After paying her the $100, they went to the bedroom, had sex for a few hours and then Jeff left. Dave came home about 6:00 PM and asked his wife, "Did Jeff come by this afternoon?"

Totally shocked, Sandy replied, "Yes, he did stop by for a few minutes."

Next Dave asked, "Did Jeff give you $100?"

Sandy thought, 'Oh hell, he knows!' Reluctantly she said, "Yes, he did give me $100."

"Good," Dave says.

"Jeff came by the office this morning and borrowed the $100 from me and said that he'd stop by our house on his way home and pay me back. It's so good to have a friend you can trust."

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You're just jealous cuz the voices talk to me!
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Doctor Feelgood
Arrrrghh!


Joined: 07 Apr 2003
Posts: 20349
Location: New Jersey

PostPosted: Thu, 12 May 2005 20:13:15    Post Subject: Reply with quote View Single Post

Laughing - now that is a good one! Grin
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MasterSweets14
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Joined: 02 May 2005
Posts: 147
Location: in a very, very small box

PostPosted: Thu, 12 May 2005 20:19:16    Post Subject: Reply with quote View Single Post

Evil Banana i got plenty of jokes like that if u want to hear them
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J-Dog3000
Rated NC-17


Joined: 02 May 2005
Posts: 111
Location: 3 Seconds in the future

PostPosted: Thu, 12 May 2005 20:39:48    Post Subject: Reply with quote View Single Post

There was a huge fire that started to burn down a apartment building. We got there in time and started to save the people. When the last person was saved the building collasped. We cheered and congradulated each other on a job well done. But Big Bruin looked around and said "Where is Beer Lotus and MasterSweets14?" the rest of us looked around and said we didn't know. So Big Bruin went looking for them, he walked down an allyway and saw Beer Lotus bent over and MasterSweets14 giving it to Beer Lotus up the butt. "What the hell is going on here!?!?" MasterSweets14 said that Beer Lotus had passed out. "Then you're supposed to give him mouth to mouth!" Big Bruin yelled.

"He did," Beer Lotus said "that's how this whole thing started."

Sorry Beer Lotus and MasterSweets14, i couldn't resist.

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If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy, and people will try to catch you, because hey, free dummy.
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MasterSweets14
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Joined: 02 May 2005
Posts: 147
Location: in a very, very small box

PostPosted: Thu, 12 May 2005 20:50:35    Post Subject: Reply with quote View Single Post

hey as long as i get some a$$ u dont hear me complainin
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Little Bruin
Boo Boo

Joined: 07 Apr 2003
Posts: 667
Location: Pic-A-Nic Basket
J-Dog3000
Rated NC-17


Joined: 02 May 2005
Posts: 111
Location: 3 Seconds in the future

PostPosted: Thu, 12 May 2005 20:53:27    Post Subject: Reply with quote View Single Post

Crazy that's plain nasty
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If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy, and people will try to catch you, because hey, free dummy.
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MasterSweets14
Rated NC-17


Joined: 02 May 2005
Posts: 147
Location: in a very, very small box

PostPosted: Thu, 12 May 2005 20:57:20    Post Subject: Reply with quote View Single Post

if u thought that was nasty read this.

Three vampires walk into a bar. The first asks for a shot of blood. The second one asks for a shot of blood. The third one asks for a cup of hot water. The confused bartender said, "I thought all vampires drank blood, why did u want hot water?" The thrid vampire replies, "Because I found a used tampon outside and decided to make some tea>"

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misty
Mmmmm... Beer


Joined: 17 Jul 2003
Posts: 737
Location: In Dr. EvilCheeze's pants

PostPosted: Thu, 12 May 2005 23:05:35    Post Subject: Reply with quote View Single Post

EEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
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Meg: Everybody! Guess what I am?
Stewie: Hm, the end result of a drunken back-seat grope-fest and a broken prophylactic?

Stewie: I was under the impression the name of the show was "Kids Say the Darndest Things," not "Old Black Comedians Never Shut the Hell Up."
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