Blamestorming:
Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was
missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
Body Nazis:
Hard-core exercise and weightlifting fanatics who look down on
anyone who doesn't work out obsessively.
Chainsaw Consultant:
An outside expert brought in to reduce the
employee head count, leaving the top brass with clean hands.
Cube Farm:
An office filled with cubicles.
Mouse Potato:
The online, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
Prairie Dogging:
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
Sitcoms:
What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. Stands for Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.
Starter Marriage:
A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with
no kids, no property and no regrets.
Stress Puppy:
A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
Swiped Out:
An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because
the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
Tourists:
People who take training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs. "We had three serious students in the class; the rest were just tourists."
Xerox Subsidy:
Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.
Assmosis:
The process by which some people seem to absorb success and
advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
Flight Risk:
Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to
leave a company or department soon.
GOOD Job:
A "Get Out Of Debt" job. A well-paying job people take in order
to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are
solvent again.
Irritainment:
Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O. J. trials were a prime example.
Percussive Maintenance:
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an
electronic device to get it to work again.
Uninstalled:
Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voicemail of a vice president at a downsizing computer firm: "You have reached the number of an uninstalled Vice President. Please dial our main number and ask the operator for assistance." See also Decruitment.
Yuppie Food Stamps:
The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs everywhere. Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal: "We all owe $8 each, but all anybody's got is yuppie food stamps."
Seagull Manager:
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on
everything and then leaves. |
