News Anchor Dan Rather, NPR Reporter Cokie Roberts, and a U.S. Marine
were hiking through the desert one day when they were captured by Iraqis.
They were tied up, led to the village and brought before the leader.
The leader said, "I am familiar with your western custom of granting the
condemned a last wish. Before we kill and dismember you, do you have any
last requests?"
Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last bowlful of
hot, spicy chili." The leader nodded to an underling who left and
returned with the chili. Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die
content."
Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my
tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen.
Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job 'til
the end."
The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder, and Roberts
dictated some comments. She then said, "Now I can die happy."
The leader turned and said, "And now, Mr. U.S. Marine, what is your
final wish?"
"Kick me in the a$$," said the Marine.
"What?" asked the leader. "Will you mock us in your last hour?"
"No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the a$$," insisted the
Marine.
So the leader shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the a$$. The
Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9mm pistol from
inside his cammies, and shot the leader dead.
In the resulting confusion, he leapt to his knapsack, pulled out his M4
carbine, and sprayed the Iraqis with gunfire. In a flash, the Iraqis were
dead, dying or fleeing for their lives.
As the Marine was untying Rather and Roberts, they asked him, "Why
didn't you just shoot them? Why did you ask them to kick you in the a$$?"
"What!?" said the Marine, "And have you liberal assholes call ME the
aggressor?!?"
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Two wrongs don't make a right!
But, three lefts do!! |
