The Ant and the Grasshopper

trekrider · Posted: Mon, 03 May 2004 13:34:09 Post Subject: The Ant and the Grasshopper

The Ant and the Grasshopper

OLD VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building
his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and
plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the
cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

MODERN (National Public Radio) VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building
his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and
plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference
and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm
and well fed while others are cold and starving.

CBS, NBC, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering
grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home
with a table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that
in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed
to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody
cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green."

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house
where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome."
Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the
grasshopper's sake.

Tom Daschle & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Peter Jennings
that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper,
and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him
pay his "fair share."

Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper
Act," retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is
fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs
and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home
is confiscated by the government.

Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in
a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before
a panel of federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of
single-parent welfare recipients.

The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last
bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in,
which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around
him because he doesn't maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and
the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders
who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Vote Republican

Precidia · Posted: Mon, 03 May 2004 14:13:37 Post Subject:

ROTFMAO!

dadx2mj · Posted: Mon, 03 May 2004 14:22:01 Post Subject:

Scary how close to reality that really is

Irish Lass · Rated PG-13 Joined: 14 Jan 2004 Posts: 34 Location: Pa.

How true how true!!!!

After the Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer.
The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona." The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him. The guy from Budweiser says, "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one. The guy from Coors says, "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors." He gets it.
The guy from Guinness sits down and says, "Give me a Coke." The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered. The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask "Why aren't you drinking a Guinness?" and the Guinness president replies, "Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither would I."

trekrider · Posted: Mon, 03 May 2004 14:40:21 Post Subject:

LOL @ Irish Lass

Dud3! · Posted: Mon, 03 May 2004 17:08:38 Post Subject:

BAHAHAHAHA! Oh man is that ever perfect! Laughing