The European Union commissioners have
announced that agreement has been reached
to adopt English as the preferred language for
European communications rather than German,
which was a strong possibility, and one which
received support among many European
Union officials.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's
Government conceded that English spelling had
some room for improvement and has accepted a
five-year phased plan for what will be known as
Euro-English (Euro for short).
In the first year, 's' will be used instead
of the soft 'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants will
resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard 'c' will
be replaced with 'k.' Not only will this klear
up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less
letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in
the sekond year, when the troublesome 'ph' will
be replaced by 'f'. This will make words like
'fotograf' 20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the
new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage
where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double
letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate
speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of
silent 'e's in the languag is disgrasful, and they
would go.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to
steps such as replasing 'th' by 'z' and 'W' by 'V'.
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary 'o' kan be
dropd from vords kontaining 'ou', and similar
changes vud of kors; be aplid to ozer kombinations of
leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl
riten styl. Zer vil b no mor trubls or difikultis
and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech
ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru!
_________________
Two wrongs don't make a right!
But, three lefts do!! |
That's funny!!!
