| Date: Tue, 17 Jun 2003 22:06:12 +0200
 Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed
 a  slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower
 and  jewelery applications that had operated flawlessly under
 Boyfriend 5.0.
 
 In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable
 programs,  such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but
 installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0 and ESPN
 2.0.
 
 And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6
 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix
 these problems, but to no avail.
 
 What can I do?
 
 Signed,
 Desperate
 
 
 Reply: Dear Desperate:
 
 First keep in mind; Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package,
 while  Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try entering the command
 C:\ I  THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2
 to install Guilt 3.0. If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should
 then automatically run the applications Jewelery 2.0 and Flowers
 3.5.
 
 But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy
 Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad
 program that will create SnoringLoudly.wav files.
 
 Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall
 another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and
 will crash Husband 1.0.
 
 In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a
 limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might
 consider additional software to improve memory and performance. I
 personally  recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 6.9.
 
 Good Luck,
 Tech Support
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