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knight0334 · Rated XXX

I did get checked. It is cancer. Its not far along as hers was, nor was it as fast growing as hers. But it is what it is.

Docs figure it wasn't caused from smoking, but maybe asbestos or some other dust particle. The docs told me too much blame is put on smoking as the cause of lung cancer. They said just about anything can cause it. All it takes is for some foreign object like house dust, pollen, skin flakes, etc, etc, to get in, irritate a cell - then it starts. Most people's bodies can fight off minor things like that, but those with a predisposition to cancer are likely to get cancer from the most minor thing.

Teeny's was caused by dust particles from the steel mill here in Weirton. ...not from the cigarettes or 420 that she smoked since her early teens.

I don't know if any of you all noticed, but I haven't been online much in the last 3 years.. well not as much as before that. Its because I've been trying to do all that I wanted, see what I wanted, and make preparations. My gut instinct told me long ago that Teeny had it, and that was why she did what she did and pushed me away. I understand it all now, all is clear, all is forgiven.

I am happy with where I am in life, and I'd be just as happy if I passed away after tomorrow. I witnessed my grandmother and Teeny go thru this first hand. Her grandma died of the same thing as my grandma, on the same day - only 15 years apart.

Its not that I'm giving up, but rather I'm okay with it. I'm not gonna do anything stupid like hang myself or something of the like. Thats the only sin that cant be forgiven. Some day down the road, it could be tomorrow, next year, ten years or more from now - someone will be posting my last reply. More than likely it will be either my brother(agpfiero or computron), or one my cousins Curt(theCurt) or Vonda(Vee). I have it in my will for someone to notify my friends online at the several sites I lurk.

My living will states that the only things to be given to me are pain killers, saline solution and pepcids. A DO NOT use CPR order is in effect. No life support.