THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON'T SAY

renovation

M y tire was thumping.

I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire...

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!

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H eard your wife left you,

How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.

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L ooking back over the years

that we've been together,

I can't help but wonder...

"What the hell was I thinking?"

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C ongratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.

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H ow could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?

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I 've always wanted to have

someone to hold,

Someone to love.

After having met you.

I've changed my mind.

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I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you.

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A s the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

That you're not here to ruin it for me.

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C ongratulations on your promotion.

Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.

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H appy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)

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H appy birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost Lifelike!

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W hen we were together,

You always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.

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W e have been friends for a very long time..

Let's say we stop?

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I 'm so miserable without you

It's almost like you're here.

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C ongratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?

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Y our friends and I wanted to do

Something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.

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S o your daughter's a hooker,

and it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,

it's really good pay.

BeerCheeze · Posted: Sun, 10 Jul 2005 18:30:01 Post Subject:

jake_johnson · Posted: Sun, 10 Jul 2005 21:02:45 Post Subject:

i like the your daughters a hooker. I know who I am getting that for. They dont know their daughter is a hooker. I am just going to mail it un-signed.

Hellfire · Rated XXX Joined: 05 Aug 2003 Posts: 3473

HAHAHAH I really need to get this card for my wife! She'd love it and would laugh her @ss off!

L ooking back over the years
that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder...
"What the hell was I thinking?"

Think it's time to get photoshoping it....

**Doctor Feelgood** · Posted: Sun, 10 Jul 2005 21:28:17 Post Subject:

Hey Hellfire... Print me one too! Laughing

FOX · Posted: Sun, 10 Jul 2005 22:11:02 Post Subject:

lol those are great

NewAwakenings · Posted: Mon, 11 Jul 2005 20:25:58 Post Subject:

HackaX0rus · Posted: Mon, 11 Jul 2005 20:29:24 Post Subject:

...helfire ima tell your wife on you...MWHAHA