Attack of the SPAM!

BeerCheeze · Posted: Wed, 02 Feb 2011 13:11:25 Post Subject: Attack of the SPAM!

Yea, so... I've been reading reports about SPAM lately, and towards the end of last year it dropped off (YEAH!!). But reports say it's coming back. Well... I would have to agree:

That's a report from the firewall I'm running that has anti-spam built in. Out of the 425 e-mail it saw yesterday, 308 of them (72.4%) were SPAM. Of course it's set fairly conservative, so I'm sure that another 20 of the 117 that got through were caught by Exchange's SPAM filter, of which maybe another 5 - 10 of those that got through were SPAM. So that would mean that 78.3% of all e-mail we get here (this is at my house BTW - email for 5 people... of which only 2 really get any) is SPAM. Ouch! by some estimates I've seen there are almost 300 Billion e-mails sent a day, and if 78.3% of them are SPAM... that means 234.9 BILLION SPAM e-mails are sent every day....

It's no wonder downloading all my p0rn is slow! Laughing

knight0334 · Posted: Wed, 02 Feb 2011 17:31:15 Post Subject:

My Yahoo account has been being hit heavily for the last 8 months. For the year prior I had it down to about 10-30 spam a day. Now I'm back up to 100-200+ a day - and I haven't used that account to sign up for anything new in the last couple years.

Charlie · Posted: Thu, 10 Feb 2011 05:07:50 Post Subject:

Thanks to Eric Idle & Monty Python's Flying Circus........

Scene: A cafe. One table is occupied by a group of Vikings with horned helmets on. A man and his wife enter.

Man (Eric Idle): You sit here, dear.

Wife (Graham Chapman in drag): All right.

Man (to Waitress): Morning!

Waitress (Terry Jones, in drag as a bit of a rat-bag): Morning!

Man: Well, what've you got?

Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam;

Vikings (starting to chant): Spam spam spam spam...

Waitress: ...spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam...

Vikings (singing): Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!

Waitress: ...or Lobster Thermidor au Crevette with a Mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.

Wife: Have you got anything without spam?

Waitress: Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.

Wife: I don't want ANY spam!

Man: Why can't she have egg bacon spam and sausage?

Wife: THAT'S got spam in it!

Man: Hasn't got as much spam in it as spam egg sausage and spam, has it?

Vikings: Spam spam spam spam (crescendo through next few lines)

Wife: Could you do the egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam then?

Waitress: Urgghh!

Wife: What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like spam!

Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!

Waitress: Shut up!

Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!

Waitress: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can't have egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam.

Wife (shrieks): I don't like spam!

Man: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love it. I'm having spam spam spam spam spam spam spam beaked beans spam spam spam and spam!

Vikings (singing): Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!

Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.

Man: Well could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then?

Waitress: You mean spam spam spam spam spam spam... (but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words)

Vikings (singing elaborately): Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam. Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Spam spam spam spam!

heylinder · Posted: Thu, 10 Feb 2011 08:06:45 Post Subject:

Shoulder pork and ham!! Say it aint soooo ......... !!