Stimulus Check 2010

BeerCheeze · Posted: Sat, 06 Mar 2010 02:08:28 Post Subject: Stimulus Check 2010

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.

This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by Using a Q & A format:

Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money ?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?
A. Only a smidgen of it.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a High-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. Economy by Spending your stimulus check wisely:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will Go to China or Sri Lanka .
* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.
* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India, Taiwan or China .
* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala.
* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .
* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in America by:

1) Spending it at yard sales, or
2) Going to ball games, or
3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
4) Beer or
5) Tattoos.

(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )

Conclusion:

Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day!

No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help. Wave

Spire · Posted: Sat, 06 Mar 2010 02:43:28 Post Subject:

I sure wish that was laminated and posted on every refridgerator in America!!!

It will be on mine in a few minutes.

knight0334 · Posted: Sat, 06 Mar 2010 04:27:16 Post Subject:

Guns dammit! Guns! There are plenty of US manufacturers left, with their actual products made here.

**Doctor Feelgood** · Posted: Sat, 06 Mar 2010 08:41:44 Post Subject:

OK - so use your newly purchased gun to "persuade" the prostitute in Cheeze's story and continue on with the plan he's laid out! Laughing

knight0334 · Posted: Sat, 06 Mar 2010 13:58:30 Post Subject:

We'd have to skip baseball games.. It appears that MLB chuck full of recruits from Central America, the Caribbean, and Japan these days.

acruxksa · Posted: Sat, 06 Mar 2010 23:14:12 Post Subject:

So, I give them $22K and they give me back $600.........................Sweet!

mrweasel · Posted: Sun, 07 Mar 2010 15:31:20 Post Subject:

all while they've been collecting interest on your 22k...double-awesome!

BeerCheeze · Posted: Sun, 07 Mar 2010 16:39:54 Post Subject: