"Things to Ponder"
How important does a person have to be before
they are considered assassinated instead of
just murdered?
If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks
have branches?
Since bread is square, then why is sandwich
meat round?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but
it's only a "penny for your thoughts?" Where's
that extra penny going?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing
the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we
figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels
on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby"
when babies wake up like every two hours and
cry?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called
a hearing?
If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will
they fire you?
"New Things to Ponder"
Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and
then put money in binoculars to look at things
on the ground?
How come we choose from just two people for
President and fifty for Miss America?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway.
If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does
s/he call?
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to
wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-
fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the
first place!
When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping,"
now I just "chunky dunk."
Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our
life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start
all over?
Stress is when you wake up screaming and then
you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
My husband says I never listen to him. At least I
think that's what he said.
Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in
school, but they can in prison?
If raising children was going to be easy, it never
would have started with something called labor!
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells
live forever.
_________________
Two wrongs don't make a right!
But, three lefts do!! |
