It's joke time :)

heylinder · Posted: Sun, 22 Mar 2009 20:09:48 Post Subject: It's joke time :)

A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.

Amazing, he thought as he flew down the Interstate, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120.

Suddenly he thought, 'What am I doing? I'm too old for this,' and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, 'Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go.'

The old gentleman paused. Then said, 'Years ago, my wife ran off with a State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.'

'Have a good day, sir,' replied the trooper.

heylinder · Posted: Wed, 25 Mar 2009 20:51:09 Post Subject:

At this posting 112 people viewed the joke and not one joke added .... bunch of pansies Razz

**Doctor Feelgood** · Posted: Wed, 25 Mar 2009 21:05:43 Post Subject:

Pansies! Oof... that hurts! Laughing

How about some presidential jokes in the form of bumper stickers...

heylinder · Posted: Wed, 25 Mar 2009 21:26:15 Post Subject:

LOL, GREAT bumper stickers! Thanks Jason, I needed the laugh. I have a big government inspection coming up April 3rd and just when I think my stress level can not get any higher ... it does Smile

I'm not sure which one is my fav. The Democrats/Fox News one or the Obama/Fart one Wink

BeerCheeze · Posted: Wed, 25 Mar 2009 23:23:25 Post Subject:

Ok... those made me laugh.

Kilamon · Rated XXX Joined: 22 Mar 2005 Posts: 811

Here's one for a more IT related angle...

heylinder · Posted: Fri, 27 Mar 2009 06:22:31 Post Subject:

veleb · Rated PG-13 Joined: 31 Mar 2009 Posts: 25

I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"

__________________

A man doing market research knocked on a door and was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet.

He says, "I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?" She says, "Yes. My husband and I use it all the time." "And if you don't mind me asking, what do you use it for?" "We use it for sex." The researcher was a little taken back.

"Usually people lie to me and say that they use it on a child's bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex. I admire you for your honesty. Since you've been frank so far, can you tell me exactly how you use it for sex?"

The woman says, "I don't mind telling you at all. My husband and I put it on the door knob and it keeps the kids out."

edvallie · Posted: Tue, 31 Mar 2009 07:31:41 Post Subject:

BB already won this thread Grin

knight0334 · Posted: Tue, 31 Mar 2009 15:00:51 Post Subject:

A little boy says to his mother, "Mommy, how come I'm black and you're white?"

His mother replied, "Don't even go there! From what I can remember about that party, you're lucky you don't bark!"