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Charlie
DeathStar


Joined: 24 Sep 2003
Posts: 10801
Location: Orlando, FL

PostPosted: Fri, 26 Jun 2009 16:01:20    Post Subject: Police Humor Reply with quote View Single Post

Police Humor


These are actual comments made by 16 Police Officers.
The comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

16 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through.'

15 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while.'

14 'If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document.'

13 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.'

12 'Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.'

11 'You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?'

10 'Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?'

9 'Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket. '

8 'The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?'

7 'Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.'

6 'Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.'

5 'In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.'

4 'How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?'

3 'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can.'

2 'I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.'

AND THE WINNER IS....

1 'You didn't think we gave pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here.'
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Little Bruin
Boo Boo

Joined: 07 Apr 2003
Posts: 667
Location: Pic-A-Nic Basket
Doctor Feelgood
Arrrrghh!


Joined: 07 Apr 2003
Posts: 20349
Location: New Jersey

PostPosted: Fri, 26 Jun 2009 16:19:23    Post Subject: Reply with quote View Single Post

Hahaha! Good stuff there stranger! Wave
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mrweasel
I can haz cheezbrgr?


Joined: 13 Jun 2005
Posts: 1444
Location: Pasadena, MD

PostPosted: Fri, 26 Jun 2009 16:25:34    Post Subject: Reply with quote View Single Post

Charlie!
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(TSC)Bender
Rated NC-17


Joined: 11 Feb 2008
Posts: 162

PostPosted: Fri, 26 Jun 2009 16:25:54    Post Subject: Reply with quote View Single Post

That was pretty good. #8 caught me off guard, must be drunk Grin
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jedihobbit
Rated XXX


Joined: 22 Mar 2007
Posts: 238
Location: Central Virginia, USA

PostPosted: Sat, 27 Jun 2009 01:39:56    Post Subject: Reply with quote View Single Post

Wave
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Shadowsilence
I <3 Chevrolet


Joined: 11 May 2004
Posts: 618
Location: Fort Walton Beach

PostPosted: Sun, 28 Jun 2009 02:03:44    Post Subject: Reply with quote View Single Post

That was funny, #1 was quite the burn
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